Thanksgiving

I've been avoiding this post for a few days because I thought it would be a hard one.  This past Thursday, the 25th, which happened to be Thanksgiving, would have been Jeff's 28th birthday, and I don't think anyone of us knew how we were going to feel that day.  I was hosting some family and friends for dinner, and was able to stay pretty busy throughout the day.  I heard from my siblings and my mom and we were all holding together fairly well, I'd say.  It was strangely coincidental that Jeff's 28th birthday fell on Thanksgiving day, as he happened to be born on Thanksgiving, as well.  Jim and I can recall with great clarity that Thanksgiving meal, dry turkey and all, when Casey and Katie were so little and Phil was racing around trying to find a place where we could eat the holiday meal.  I remember our dad's crazy happy smile that day, and how excited I was to have another little brother.

I woke up this year on Thanksgiving day on the heels of a dream in which I dreamed that my 2 year old had passed away.  I spent the whole dream chasing after her, imagining her to be just around the corner from me, and I was unable to get my hands on her, and to hug her close to me.  In the dream, she was the youngest of my five kids.  In real life, I only have 3 children; my mom has 5.  It took me a few minutes upon waking to understand how deeply heartbreaking it must be for her each day she wakes up to realize that her child is gone.  And it made me want to get my hands on my children and keep them close.

After Jeff passed away, a good friend gave me a great piece of advice in saying, "Sometimes people are meant to deliver the message, and sometimes, they are the message."  I often think of this bit of wisdom, and understand that the loss of Jeff is a strong exercise is practicing Thanksgiving on a daily scale--to pay attention to our blessings each day and recognize that having each other is what life is all about.

Jeff's niece, my magical and slightly sassy 5 year old daughter, came up with a great way to honor Jeff for his birthday.  She said, "Why don't we get a balloon and write happy birthday Uncle Jeff and then send it up to heaven?"  I put her in charge of going with her grandmother to the store while I was making Thanksgiving dinner, and she came home with a colorful birthday balloon.  Later that night, after our guests went home, she and I stood outside our front steps and sent a message with that balloon up to Jeff, telling him that we miss him and love him.  As her little fingers let it go, I watched the balloon rise up into the night and wished him peace and love.

Sending peace and love to you, too.  And great thanks that you are part of this project.

Quiet Sunday

Today is a beautiful fall day in Virginia Beach and as the weather is turning colder, it seems like getting our hats into the right hands is getting closer.  My mom and Kate are planning to distribute the hats with Prevention Point sometime between next weekend and Thanksgiving.  This Thanksgiving will be particularly tough on my mom, as it would have been Jeff's 28th birthday.  I know that having wool in hands, keeping her busy, is helping my mom to feel as if she's doing something directly Jeff, and is allowing her to work her way through this tough time. I keep mentioning how grateful we are for your support, and I don't think I can overemphasize just how touched we are with all of your comments and good effort.  Thanks for being a part of this project.

A 20 Hat Kind of Week

After loading up on yarn supplies last week with my mom, I hunkered in and cranked out three hats in a week's time.  I was feeling pretty accomplished and productive until I spoke with my mom at the end of the week and she proclaimed, "We have 17 hats."  I was floored and asked who had contributed, and she was quiet on her end of the phone.  Then she said, "Um.  I haven't been sleeping too much..."

In addition to our 20 hats, we've received some beautiful hats from my sister-in-law's mom who lives in Vermont, and we've heard from several folks who have shared the idea with their knitting groups.  If you have finished hats, scarves, or yarn to donate, you can send them to the PO box listed on the right side of the blog.  We can't thank you enough for your support.

Knitting Pattern

Here is a pattern for a simple hat:

Size 13 needles double pointed needles or 16" circular needles; size 13 straight needles
Bulky yarn 4 oz or three strands of worsted weight yarn held together
The smaller size is the first set of numbers and the larger size is the number in the (. ).

Cast on 48 for a women's hat or (54) stitches for a larger/men's hat.
This can be knit in the round or on straight needles. If you knit on straight needles you will knit one row and then purl one row, or you can knit every row. This is a pretty forgiving and very easy pattern. Have fun, you can mix colors add fun yarns or just use one color.  

If you are knitting in the round, be careful not to twist your stitches when you join the stitches together.

Knit for 6 1/2 (7 1/2) inches.
Decrease as follows:
Round 1: Knit 6 (7) , knit 2 together 6 times; (42 (48) stitches remain)
Round 2: Knit 5 (6), knit 2 together 6 times; (36 (42) stitches remain)
Round 3: Knit 4 (5), knit 2together 6 times;  (30 (36) stitches remain)
Round 4: Knit 3 (4), knit 2 together 6 times;  (24 (30) stitches remain)
Round 5: Knit 2 (3), knit 2 together 6 times; (18 (24) stitches remain)
Round 6: Knit 1 (2), knit 2 together 6 times; (12 (18) stitches remain
Round 7: Knit 2 together (knit 1, knit 2 together) 6 times; (6 (12) stitches remain)
Round 8: only for larger size knit 2 together 6 times (6 stitches remain)

6 stitches remain--cut a long tail from yard and pull thru the stitches left on needle and gather up--secure firmly. Voilà!! A hat!!!

Apologies on the Snub, Crocheters

Clearly, we are not tying to marginalize our contributors, and hope no non-knitters have taken offense.  Crochet, macrame, quilt, staple--whatever works to put a hat together.  A warm headed kid on the street will be thankful this February.

Mailing Status

We are currently setting up a PO Box near our hometown.  My mom Linda will be the contact person in charge of receiving the hats, and I can tell you in advance she'll most likely need some Kleenex with each trip to the post office, as each time she hears of the kindness from you all she starts getting pretty moved and weepy.  Linda will take the hats to Protection Point, with Kate, and mostly be pretty hands on about distribution.  Thank you so much to all of you who've already started on projects and are asking where now to send the finished hats.  We should have a firm address by week's end.

Also, I am working on posting the easiest pattern I can find for the basic roll hat.  I just experimented with one today that should work.  I'll be posting that later this evening and will try to make its location and access very user friendly.

For the Non-Knitter Who Wants to Help

Many of you have reached out to us and expressed a desire to help with the project, and wondered how you can participate if you aren't knitters.  I think one of the best ways to help, at this stage, is to point others in our direction, and generate some awareness.  It doesn't sound like much, but really, in this age of social networking, it's actually quite powerful.
If you have a grandmother who likes to knit, pass along this site or idea to her.  If you're in recovery, mention this site to a fellow recovery buddy, as sometimes folks fresh and raw to sobriety need something productive to do with their hands.  If you have a niece or daughter whose sorority is looking for a philanthropy project, maybe this could be something they'd want to consider.  If you have marketing and PR skills, tell us what we could be doing better to promote our project.  Suggestions and comments are always welcome.
My sister Kate is a self-professed "optimistic" knitter, meaning she has great intention, but little practice as of now.  She is an amazing photographer, however, and is going to use her talents to take photos for the blog.  Kate is also interested in being hands on with the hat distribution, and will be working with Protection Point to pass out hats when our fist batch is completed.  She has also wisely suggested that any additional donations of scarves, coats and socks could be part of the donation.  If you're interested in helping her, just let us know.  We're working with the Philadelphia Protection Point needle exchange and will most likely be distributing our donated items at the start of December.
Thanks again for helping us get this going.  My mom, in particular, is incredibly touched by all your kindness and generosity.

Apologies

Thanks to everyone who has responded so kindly to the project.  We've had some great feed-back, namely that folks would like to have a pattern to follow.  We'll post a basic pattern for the newer knitters, and my apologies in advance for not setting it up sooner.  Unfortunately, my sister Kate is the savvy one on the computer and she lives several states away.  Hopefully, I'll figure out how to post it this morning.


For the more advanced knitter, we welcome you to work on any pattern you like.  My mom has indicated that she doesn't want anyone to feel restricted, so if you have a particular design that you like, please do what's easiest for you and makes you happy.  My mom and I took a field trip this weekend to the Knitter's Niche in Ocean City, NJ, where we acquired more yarn and inspiration.  My mom is a talented and seasoned knitter, and recommended working on size 13 needles with bulk weight yarn, for maximum efficiency.  If you have a particular hat that you think would work for this project, please feel free to post it.    

1 Down, 3,999 To Go

When I spoke with Emily at Protection Point last week, she mentioned that they provide services for about 4,000 people a year.  I was touched by their reach, and also a bit floored and thought, "that's a lot of hats."  I don't actually imagine that we'll be knitting that many hats, however, any contributions at this point will certainly help once the weather starts to drop.  People have responded so kindly to this project and our family just wanted to say thanks for your encouragement.

The first hat:

Score!!

My mom just called to say that the owner of Frou Frou yarn store offered a donation to the project.  When my mom went in to buy yarn and explained what the yarn was for, the owner said she would gather together some supplies for us for the next time my mom came in.  Isn't that amazing?




For now, I've done one hat.  I used sock yarn on size 8 needles and think I need to step it up a notch.  I think a bulkier wool with maybe size 13 needles would be more in line for bulk production.  I found a good, easy skull cap design at http://hipknitized.blogspot.com/2009/12/mens-sleek-toque.html .  I'm looking forward to linking up with my mom this weekend to get started and check out her stash.  She always buys the softest, most beautiful yarn.  I'm really looking forward to seeing what comes to us.  Everyone has such a different creative side, it'll be cool to see what gets created.

Protection Point

I spoke this week with Emily at Protection Point, a state funded organization based out of Philadelphia that organizes medical services and a needle exchange for people on the street suffering from drug addiction.  The service provides a place where dirty needles can be deposited and clean needles are distributed in a clean, safe environment.  Emily detailed that they drive an RV through the street and meet up with the people who need their services, and the medical services they also provide.  A team of doctors and interns offer medical care on site.  It sounds like a great organization, whose aim is to stop the spread of HIV through the use of dirty needle sharing, and focuses on providing an outreach to the disenfranchised.

Emily was really kind and helpful when I explained what we were hoping to accomplish.  She said they could very easily hand out hats when the weather gets colder.  We're going to touch base in another month when I have some hats to send.

I got off the phone with her and promptly started to cry.  There are so many kind people in the world who spend their time helping others that it gets overwhelming.  Emily and her office are devoted to helping people no one wants to help, and they do it without judgment.  It's pretty amazing.  Their website is currently under construction, but I'll post the link when it's up and running so you can check it out.

Welcome

If you're reading this blog, chances are you knew Jeff or know our family in some way.  We are all reacting differently to his recent death, and it's hard somedays to know just what to do with the mix of emotions that arise when thinking of him.  It's heart-breaking on so many levels to think of never seeing Jeff again, and there's little to do to make much sense of it all.  Our mom is feeling it hardest, of course, and there seems to be almost nothing that can offer her any comfort.  Parents just aren't supposed to outlive their children.  Please keep her in your prayers these days.  I imagine it's awfully quiet for her at home alone.

Jeff was my youngest sibling, and I miss him.  So I thought I'd direct a bit of my grieving his loss by doing something creative and productive.  The title of the blog might sound a little strange, but it's what kept running through my head when I started to think of what to call this project.  It comes from seeing a young kid (maybe 20) out on the street of Phila. this summer who looked like he was in pretty rough shape.  All of his belongings were on the street around him, and his sign asked for "any blessings."  This was weeks on the heels of Jeff's funeral, and I just started crying.  I wanted to ask him if his family knew where he was.  I wanted to tell him to call home, because, chances are, they were worried about him.

I have little experience working formally with people in the throes of addiction, but a wealth of personal experience having lived with and known Jeff.  I know that there comes a point where you can't tell anyone what to do, or nudge them in a direction they don't want to follow.  They have to make their own choices and there is nothing at all that you can make them do.  It's maddening to watch someone you love fall away from themselves and the family fold, but sometimes all you can do is watch quietly and wish for the best.

This project is for those of us watching quietly and hoping for the best, and also for the addict who is making hard choices and has fallen away from himself.  I will never look at a kid on the street in the same way, knowing that my little brother, once a golden haired, sweet toddler, grew up to be one of those down-on-his-luck kids on on the street, trying to scrape together a life.  Admittedly, handing this kid a hat isn't going to do much to save him or help him make better choices.  But it can't hurt to give him something to help keep him warm or to let him know that there are people out there who do care.  And that potentially, if a complete stranger cares, then of course his family must be worried about him, too, and that maybe, just maybe, it's worth reaching out to them.  For everyone's sake.

First of all, I have no idea what I'm doing with this, as far as logistics go.  I want to knit and collect knitted hats from friends who would like to donate to the project.  A friend suggested linking up with a needle exchange program as a way of getting the hats into the right hands, and I think this is a fantastic idea.  For now, I'm just getting this site up and running and working on my first hat.  Any ideas and suggestions you have would be really helpful.  For those of you who don't know the first thing about knitting, it would be great if you could pass along this idea to someone who does.  And, of course, yarn donations are always welcome.

As far as the knitting goes, I am mostly focused on woolen hats in a very simple style.  I had initially hoped to create some wild designs (to reflect Jeff's style) for this project, but my mom very wisely pointed out that not all kids on the street want to be noticed.  Whatever you want to do is great by me.  Every hat helps.