Thursday, May 12, 2011

Spring to Action

Hello there, friends.  It's been a long time since our last post, and it is with apologies that I write now.  Many of you have continued to send along your hats and your generous donations of time and money, and for that, we here at Project Call Home are infinitely touched and grateful.  For those of you who have been wondering where your contributions have landed, you'll be pleased to know that the hats and socks have been delivered on several occasions to Prevention Point, where they were distributed to many folks in need of some warmth and love.  I cannot emphasize enough how much such a seemingly small gesture resonates for someone living on the streets during a long, cold winter.

Here at the Project, we've had our own version of a long, cold winter, and I am grateful that the Spring has come.  I haven't wanted to use this blog as an airing out of my emotions for the loss of my brother, so I've stayed resolutely mum throughout the winter months, as he hasn't been far from my thoughts.  In truth, making sense of my inability to make sense of Jeff's death has been baffling, heart-wrenching, and bleak.  It's been a devastating truth to understand that his light in the world is gone forever.

It shouldn't be that alarming to understand this about losing a sibling, but when you are in a relationship with a loved one who suffers an addiction, all bets are off on what constitutes a "normal" relationship.  In our case, the estrangement I had hoped was temporary never became resolved because Jeff passed away before we could make our peace.  Someone very wise once wrote that forgiveness is about letting go of any hope that your past could have been different.  In my case, I am learning to let go of the hope that my future with Jeff could have been different.  Our time together was imperfect, messy, and full of holes in communication, time spent together, and understanding.

But through it all, the love I feel for him remains, and that is what sustains me through these dark days, weeks and months.  It's what makes me want to reach out to him, even in a way where I can't reach him anymore, but maybe can help to reach someone just like him, someone who might need a little kindness and some compassion.  And this is what you are helping to accomplish.  Every hat helps.

0 comments:

Post a Comment